καλά και με
Μια απ αυτές
άλλο. λεν είχε
όλοι να τον
να κάμει γι
μια ιδέα. Πήγε
την ημέρα που
μέρα από το
το Ζάππειο με
στον ώμο του.
έναν καφέ και
στο σπίτι του,
Γεια σον βρε
έχω να σε δω.
του μήπως και
μάθω ποτέ μου.
τον πάλι και
και θα σου το
πω το μυστικό
λοιπόν κι εγώ
ύφος και όλοι
κάτι. ' ίσως
μέσα μου. Για
κοίτα πώς το
αν δεν το
που δεν είμαι
για το Μάρτιο
και μένα μου
μας που είναι
όπως είπε και
hopes, my dreams scattered. Everything I lived for scattered. What once
was my heart, my soul, is
gone. Gone are my days of love and laughter. My days of warmth and
happiness are no more. To shut from the world, from its pain I wish. To
grow old, in the lonely mountains and grieve till my days are done.
'Why?' is the only question I ask, but that same 'Why'" is all I am
there an explanation? Is there a reason I don't know. Laying here on my
bed, clutching violently at my pillow, I find myself asking that same
unanswered question over and over. I look up to the infinite skies and
hopelessly wonder. Knowing I will never hear a voice so warm and loving,
so soothing I begin to sob, weep, cry and hysterically scream. I hurl
and fling things across the room. Desperate and impatient I sulk,
yearning for him to be back here, with me. For me never will the sun
shine again. Never will the flowers blossom or the bees buzz. I am dead
to everything, dead to everyone. My dark and agonised heart will never
was the darkest and saddest of days. I never thought it was possible to
feel so much pain, hurt and anger. They actually thought that he had
died instantly, so they left him there as he was, slumped on the road.
That's where my anger comes into it. I can still picture the collision;
my nightmare. It still haunts me like a dark black cloud hovering over
me. Three months later, the accident still lingering reluctantly in my
mind. They were in Harry's car in front of us and a motorcyclist had
swerved in front of the car causing them to crash head on with the pole.
Having been in the front seat and without a seat belt he went right
through the windscreen, splitting his head against the pole from the
that moment I thought I had been dreaming. I had just seen my love fly
through the windscreen and his body wrap around a pole. The girls were
screaming and crying but I, dumbfounded walked over to the pole with my
mouth wide open, my heart racing, ignoring all the commotion around me.
I reached out to touch his face as he fell to the ground, sliding down
the pole leaving a trail
blood. I didn't cry, I couldn't. I stood there in awe. His beautiful
face lanced from the glass, eyes bloodshot, void and blank. Showing no
emotion he laid there in silent agony. Bewildered, I remained and before
I knew it the police, fire brigade and ambulance services were on the
scene. There were screams of horror in the distance but whose I don't
know. Where they mine? I don't know unrecognisable love. Blood was
gushing from his head and dripping from the side of his mouth. He seemed
to be in a trance. It was then that I realised it wasn't a dream,
something awful had just happened. I grasped his hands and held them
tight close to my heart, with tears streaming down my face I repeated
"I love you, always. I love you".
were being pulled out from the ambulance assisting everyone but him. I
was screaming for help, begging. One ambulance officer had a look at
him, snorted and walked off. I didn't know what to think. He wasn't
dead. I knew that because I felt his warm breath against my nect. I was
full of confusion. Why had he walked off? Was this a normal routine for
him? Was this a common scene every Saturday night?
could feel his heart still beating faintly. I pleaded for him to hang in
there. To think of all we had to do experience and live fore throughout
our whole lifetime. That's when one of the policemen tried to get me
away from him. He told me that talking to him was useless. He told me he
was dead. I didn't believe him. I didn't want to believe him.
"Things like this don't happen to me", I thought. "Only
for other people". It took me for what seemed hours to convince the
officers that he was still alive. One of the women ambulance officers
checked for a pulse and to my reassurance found one. In great haste and
with "panic" written all over the faces of the officer's, they
moved him into the ambulance.
equipment and machines were reading information in what seemed to be
another language. Masks and tubes were stuck into his body. They were
talking all this medical language and wouldn't tell me anything. Only to
sit tight and not to worry. "Don't worry!" I yelled. How did
they expect me not to worry. I felt the tension they created, I heard
the unassuring tone in their voices. I couldn't bear to see him in this
state. Was all this necessary? Was my love in such a bad condition? I
wanted answers but I wasn't getting any. I could feel my stomach
churning, but I held myself for his sake.
through the doors at the death smelling hospital, I was pushed aside
from all the sudden interferances and found myself alone. Where had they
taken him? All alone he was to cope. With no loving comfort. The
hospital staff had kept us in the dark for almost three hours. That
certainly didn't make things any better. He kept slipping in and out of
consciousness. I was an emotional and physical wreck, his mother fainted
almost five times and his father sat in a comer with a hat covering his
face. Pacing the hospital ward I cried and cried and cried. The light in
his eyes was beginning to fade.
Sunday morning, three hours after the accident, my worst fear, when a
small and fragile nurse walked into the cold waiting room full of sorrow
with some news. As soon as I saw her, I jumped out of my chair, which I
had worn away with my frustration and desperation. She allowed me to go
and see him. He had regained consciousness.
was the most terrorising thing to see. I tried so desperately hard to
hold back my tears when I saw the puzzled and sorry look on his
frightened face. He was conscious and could very slightly mumble some
words. I placed my hand into his cold palm which he, with great effort
tried to squeeze. At that I suddenly felt that all his pain was shared
with me. I felt his pain and saw the strain on his face. His painful and
sorrowful eyes stared straight into mine. 1 felt my heart sag and become
heavy. He mumbled "I'm sorry". That was all it took to make me
cry. I wanted to hear that voice once more. I burst out in tears and
laid my head against him, uncontrollably sobbing. My legs became weak
and shook like a newbom foal. He slowly put his hand on my head, I
gently closed my eyes I told him it wasn't his fault but all he did was
stare straight back into my eyes as I slowly raised my head. He was so
innocent. He seemed lost and helpless, like a little child. He softly
kissed my cheek and repeated: "I'm sorry." Stoking his hair I
told him I loved him and I was waiting for him to get better so that we
could go away, just the two of us. He smiled and softly but unwillingly
shut his eyes.
slipped out of consciousness again and I was told to leave the room as
the buzzes sounded and a patrol of doctors flooded the room. I stumbled
to the toilets looking into the eyes of a stranger who I soon recognised
to be a reflection of myself. Dark rings surrounded my eyes. My face
became pale and my cheeks were sunken. I was changing, physically and
mentally. A sudden pain making me nab at my stomach came about. My
stomach felt heavy and next thing I knew I was vomiting in the arms of
his mother. My face was yellow, sweat was pouring down my face and I was
frantically trembling, victimised of violent convulsions. I demanded
they didn't call a doctor. I found myself soon after to be quietly
holding a photo of my love, who at the time was in the next room in
torment and unrest. A great welcoming smile covering his whole face in
the photo made me feel better. Thinking of all our great times together,
the love that we shared so strongly made me feel better. I
would all work out for the better. I was on a journey. One that will
never be forgotten but remembered as the best years of my life. I
drifted away, to the past, a time when everyone was well, happy and
content. Looking down at my watch it was
Sunday morning I was drinking my seventh coffee in three hours, trying
to stay awake awaiting the nurse to come in with him and tell me to get
him home. To simply regain consciousness once again. Did it happen? No!
Sunday the 17th July was his last breath. The sharpest dagger had
savagely sliced my heart, my black blood strained. Leaving not a single
drop. Leaping onto the nearest chair I pulled out my hair and
ferociously scratched at my face, with the strongest inner strength I
threw tables and chairs. No sane man dared to approach me. I screeched
and squacked not compromising with anyone. In my great grief and despair
I ran out onto the road wanting to kill myself. Standing in the rain
with my hands outstretched I screamed hysterically. Someone had just
ripped my reason for living with their guilty bare hands. 1 slumped to
the ground and wept. Someone had their hands stained with the blood of
my love on their unworthy hands.
Staggering, I found my
way to his bed where I saw his cold and distant body which once was full
of life and happiness. The room was so cold and empty. I lay there
holding his body crying. All I wanted to say couldn't be said. It was
now too late to tell him all the things 1 wanted. He was gone.
He is now so far away
from me. I long to be with him and one day I know I will. I await that
day, the day 1 see him and feel his love and warmth once more. 1 know
he's looking down on me now. I will never forget him, 111 love him for
eternity. There will aways be that special spot in my heart for him, one
that no one else will ever replace.
at OakleighGreekOrthodoxCollegeSts. Anargyroi
το χωριό μου,
βλέπω μ' αυτό.
Τις χαρές και
λύπες του. Τις
του. Τα βουνά
με τα δάση
τους. Τ' όμορφο
πέτρες του. Μα
τις πέτρες κι
αλλού το χώμα!
τείχη που το
του. Το ναό του
Και τόσα άλλα...
Ηλία. Και να!
είναι ακόμη η
Κι όλη η παρέα
του. Ο μπάρμπα-θανάσης
με το βιολάκι
του, ο «διαρκώς
Ο κυρ Νίκος με
του. Κι ο
με το κλαρίνο
το μαγαζί». Το
ο τόπος». Τα
τους. Οι νέοι
το ίδιο. Όλοι
στο χορό. «Όπα,
θα το κάψουμε
αυτή την μέρα. «Να
ίδιο και οι
άλλοι στην «ζύγια».
«Όπα!», φώναζε ο
ένα κοντά στ'
ο τόπος. «Γεια
χορό, οι απέξω.
«Να ζήσουν τα
πρώτος» ξανά ο
πέτα στη «ζύγια»
αυτή τη μέρα.
κρυφά το μάτι
ο νιος στην
καλή του. Του
επάνω κει στο
κέφι, στο χορό,
τι να έγινε
κακό. «Ποιος να
που μας βρήκε».
«Τα παιδιά πού
όλοι» Ποιος να
Τίποτε άλλο... «Βρε
κόρη. Να πάρει
προίκα. Ή ο
όμορφη. Ή ο
φτωχό και από
στο χωριό. Από
ο έρωτας δεν
αυτά. Η αγάπη,
κι οι δυο τους.
Όλο το χωριό
στα όργανα. Οι
από τα γύρω
ειπεί το ναι.
να την κλέψει
ο άλλος και να
μην την πάρει.
κεφάλι» ο γερο-Παναγιώτης.
του τον γιο
του ΓΙάννη; «Δεν
«Όχι στο όχι το
ο Μεγακλής ο
φίλος του, το
για χάρη του
είπε το ναι.
την άλλη μέρα,
ανήμερα τ' Άη
οι δικοί του.
του. Κι έτσι
φώναζε τώρα: «Να
ζήσει η νύφη».
και του τα
κούτελο. Κι η «ζύγια»
του, ο μπάρμπα-Σπύρος,
HELLENIC WRITERS ASSOCIATION OF AUSTRALIA
O LOGOS AUGUST 1998
της τάσης μου
και να κάμω
την τύχη να
ΟοΓΟίΙιγ στο 5ου(ή
κι αφού την
τη ρώτησα σε
να τη βοηθήσω.
Έλα, μου λέει,
Κάθισε κι έχω
να σου κάνω.
χέρι της και
Τη φίλησε, τη
μου είπε με
μου, δεν είναι
της, είχε πάει
με την κόρη
της στο Οβπ(Γ6
οι δυο τους, η
η μητέρα της
πίσω, όπου τη
λέει, άντε έλα,
Κόρη μου, της
λέει η κυρία
κοίτα, κοίτα, η
Κοίτα πώς με
μετά από μια
να τη σφίξει
της, η κόρη της
πήγε δώρο την
κούκλα. Μα τι
χαρά που ήρθε
στο σπίτι της
ο κύριος 33ΠΊ
τη φίλησε και
κύλησαν απ' τα
θέλω να μου
έστω και τώρα,
μπορώ όμως να
σου κάνω όλα
Μόνο θα σου
μιλάω για τα
σου "βγάλε η
τα ρούχα να σε
πλύνει κι εσύ
κοντά μου, σε
σ' έσφιξα στην
Αλλά βλέπω τα
πάλι και την
μαζί μου αυτή
τη χαρά, της
κι εγώ που
μετά από τόσα
μια από τις
όμως, τώρα θα
Κι εγώ σ'
είπε, και να μη
από την κυρία
κύριος 83ΠΊ. Με
να περάσω στο
Ακόμα και η
Πού είναι η
και τη μικρή
κι άπλωσε το
που καθόταν η
απ' τα μάτια
μου. Άπλωσα κι
εγώ το χέρι,
έφυγα με έναν
κείνη τη μέρα,
door to his cell slammed shut. The jailer muttered something under his
breath and then gave a small burst of laughter, and so he could only
imagine what tortures they would put him through. He slumped against the
wall, wondering how it had happened. One minute there was no one, the
next minute he was surrounded.
could hear the sounds of the raging war, as far as he was from it. They
would stay in his mind forever. The moans, the cries, the pain, the
agony. He understood the suffering. Hadn't he himself gone through it?
The pain of losing a brother, a friend. What he had once thought
impossible had become a reality. His physical wounds had finally healer,
but he still suffered. As long as he lived, he would suffer. He had to
do something. Yet, what could he do? He was trapped in this miserable
cell with no hope of ever escaping. The penalty of escaping would be
death. He did not want to die.
didn't want to be imprisoned in this deep, dark cell either. He wanted
to be somewhere where he help his country, where he could do some good.
The unforunate circumstances had stopped him from doing anything. That
was what bothered him. The fact that he had to waste the valuable time
he could have used to do something to help the people who most needed
help. What would he tell his children? That he had sat in his cell, not
bothering to help?
fellow patriots were suffering. The situation demanded that he do
silence of the atmospere and his conscience ate at him. Men, women and
children had died because of this war. Many others suffered, either
mentally, emotionally, physically or even spiritually. Yet their belief
in the cause was still strong and so they persisted.
remained loyal and faithful. But many had betrayed their country. The
main reasons were greed, hatred or loss of faith. It was hard to
understand. Only the traitors, themselves, knew the reasons they were
betraying the home they grew up in and the people they grew up with. He
wanted his country to be free. Free from the rabages of war. Free from
poverty and free to make its own decisions. Free, to be its own nation
he heard footsteps down the corridor, coming closer to his cell. Three
soldiers came. They tied his hands behind his back and steered him
towards one of the rooms further along the corridor. When he looked into
the room, he suddenly realised what it was. It was a torture chamber.
was a long, wooden bench in the middle of the room with chains attached
to it. Along one of the walls were the tools used to torture. He saw
knives and needles, all sharp and glinting in the light that came from
the lamp, which hung high on the wall. He could see blood' stains on the
floor. Who knows how many of his countrymen had shed their blood in this
room, how many had been murdered?
could not help wondering when he was going to die, although the thought
did make him feel that his wife and young daughters would be sitting
comfortably in their own home worrying about him, not knowing what was
of the soldiers then grabbed him as if he were an animal and chained him
to the wooden bench.
will tell us what you know, if you know what is good for you," said
one of the solders menacingly. His uniform was quite elaborate compared
to the others, from this he, the prisoner, knew he was the highest
ranked officer in the room.
don't know anything!" he exclaimed.
have ways of making you talk," the soldier continued, "if you
tell us what you know, we might spare you, if you do not we will make
sure that you will suffer the most terrible and painful death!'
there was a commotion and a solder came bursting into the room. Not
knowing what was being said amongst the solders, he lay where he was,
not saying anything. One of the soldiers then unchained him and dragged
him back to his cell.
was surprised. Whatever that solder had said, obviously was very
important for them to have reacted so quickly. They didn't have time to
question him further or to start to torture him. Instead they had thrown
him back in this cell without saying anything. It was very strange. They
hadn't even left any soldiers to at least continue questioning him. Not
that he was ungrateful.
then started running through the corridor, on their way out. Then it was
quiet again. He could not hear any voices or any other noise at all. He
realised that he was now alone because, for some unknown reason all the
solders had ran out not even bothering to look his way, as if they had
forgotten all about him.
was his chance to escape, whilst everyone else was busy. Before he could
do anything, there was a loud explosion. It did not sound like it was
far from where he was. He quickly lowered himself to the ground,
covering his head with his arms.
was not a moment too soon, for then he heard another explosion. The
sound was so loud that he realised that it must have hit the building.
With the thought that he was going to die, his life flashed before his
the noise died down and the cell was filled with light, for the first
time since he had been here. He lifted his head, looking around in
wonder. He rubbed his eyes in confusion when he saw the enormous hole in
the wall. Amazed that the explosion had not injured him, he walked
cautiously towards it, not knowing what to do. Should he escape, or
would he be caught?
through the hole, he saw no one coming and quickly ran towards the trees
that he could see in the distance. Still no one followed him. He did not
hear any shouts or anyone chasing him. Neither did he hear any gun
shots. The circumstances seemed to get onely stranger as time went on.
he reached the trees, he looked down at the place that he had been
imprisoned in. What he saw, was destruction. Seeing nobody, he walked
back to the camp of his hated enemies.
around, he discovered that all the buildings now lay in ruins. Dead
bodies covered the ground and there was blood everywhere. It was amazing
that he was still alive and had not been injured in any way. It was For
a long time he had seen them as his enemies, as evil. Now he realised
that they were people like himself. Fighting for their country. They had
not known what they were doing was wrong. They had only been obeying the
orders, given by their leader.
paying attention to anything else but what he saw, he wandered through
the ruined camp. That was how they found him. He didn't know if they
were allies or enemies. His mind was blank, unwilling and unable to work
after what had happened and what he had seen.
he knew was that these people were solders, not only because of the way
they were dressed, but the way that they behaved, as fully trained
three days they marched. He tried to communicate with these soldiers
did not say anything to him. Did they understand him? If they did, they
showed no sign of it.
of the surroundings that he saw were familiar to him. He recognised
nothing. Just before sunset they would stop and set up camp for the
evening. They gave him food and water. He ate the food hungrily. Proper
food was something he had only dreamed about since his capture.
sunrise each morning they would wake him, pack up their things and then
continue walking. They travelled
a gruelling pace, he could hardly keep up with them at times but they
were willing to wait for him when he fell behind.
from this, they said and did nothing to show that they knew he was
there. They did not tie him up or mistreat him. He did not feel like he
was a prisoner. Yet he did not try to escape. It did not feel like any
of this was real, he felt like it was all just a dream.
they reached the camp. Once again, he started trying to communicate with
in the distance he saw a familiar figure. He called out to him,
"Matthew, is that you?"
man turned around and ran towards him, shouting with excitement,
"John! What are you doing here? After you disappeared I thought I'd
never see you again!"
said something to the soldiers whom then left. John looked at Matthew in
amazement. Matthew and John had both served in the army, instantly
becoming friends when they met. The fact that Matthew was here must
definitely mean that these soldiers were allies.
answered his friend, "Well you can ask those soldiers what brought
me here, because I wouldn't have the faintest idea where I am or why I'm
then proceeded to tell him what had happened. How he had been caught by
the enemy and imprisoned. About the way he had escaped and found
everything destroyed and everyone dead.
must have been when we attacked their camp," said Matthew, "It
was a miracle you survived, let alone weren't even injured. You're lucky
our soldiers found you."
they had been talking, Matthew had walked with him towards a small
building on the other side of the camp.
is where you'll be staying," Matthew said to John, "if you
need anything, don't hesitate to ask."
that Matthew left and John enetered his room. It was comfortably
furnished and he sat down in one of the chairs. He still hadn't leamt
anything of what had happened during the weeks that he had been
imprisoned. Suddenly Matthew burst into the room. In his excitement he
couldn't get the words off his mouth.
over!" he exclaimed, "We've won the war!"
at OakleighGreekOrthodoxCollegeSts. Anargyroi
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